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JAC x 2

Confusions Says

Here follows a few of Enforcers' wise sayings under the guise of the Confusion Master.
At the end are some which needed a bit more explanation.

We are all students, we never stop being a student, until we stop being.
Talk in the written form does not always convey all that it might should it be done vocally.
One swallow does not a summer make, but regular swallows reduce the chances of breast cancer
Theory and book learning is all well and good, but doing things in the real world is where you will find the truth.
You can piss off some of the people all of the time, or you can piss off all the people some of the time, but you can't piss off all the people all of the time.
The world is not flat now, but it will be flat broke when we've finished with it.
Written English is like Photography, you have to be careful where you put your negatives.

It's not what you know, It's not even who you know, It's what you know about who you know.
Relevance is in the realm of miscomprehension
Love is like a honey pot, once you go in, you come out all sticky.
All work and no play, means Shakespeare you are not
Always hover over a link before you press the button
He who pulls a cracker, doesn't necessarily get a good bang from it
when taking photos, make sure sun (like all your troubles) is behind you
When correcting spelling, make sure you have cast your own spell correctly.
When faced with staring at bare wall, improve things by painting pretty picture on it

Remember the gifted lawyer, who managed to prove white was black and black was white. Who then promptly got run over at the next zebra crossing?
Always check link after posting, otherwise you look complete dork.
You are only as old as who you feel.
Sometimes one has to look beyond the realms of reality to find a solution that sits well upon one's shoulders.
Anyone who is big enough to stand up and admit their faults, is the biggest idiot in town.
For a proverb to come into existence, it first has to be vocalised, as no one remembers a proverb never said.
Man must not read too much into proverbs and must sometimes look at smiley face next to them to gain true meaning.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you wish to play mind games, make sure you have the prerequisite before you start.
Be careful when backing up, as the queue for the gents may not be a straight as you thought.
where once there was dark there is light, where once there is light is dark.
Irishman said: black is white, white is black. Before getting himself killed on a Zebra crossing.
Man who stands on Toilet, is in France
A Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. However a hand in a birds bush is worth much more than that.

For this last one an explanation.
One member of a cert forum used to run the occasional competion based on guessing when he would reach a certain number of posts. Someone, halfway through the thread, asked the rules of the contest, despite them being quite clearly described in the first post.

Confusion Says:
When posting a date that is equal to the date that freak makes his 8000th post, thy will be entitled to win 5 Study Guides of your choice from his site.

Two provisos

1. You must be the first person to post that date

2. Your post should not have been edited.

Or in other words: Post a 'king date

If you go down to the woods today,
You're sure of a big surprise.
Because all the trees have gone
To make room for the new high rise.
For every tree there ever was
A tarmac road has replaced because
Todays the day mummy drives her (Renault) Scenic.
Mary had a little lamb curry and rice white to go
And everywhere that Mary went The lamb made her throw
The smell followed her everwhere which wasn't very cool
It made the children choke and cry, to see the vom in a pool
And so a teacher cleaned it up, but still it lingered near
Until a rainstorm washed it away, then they did cheer
Why does mary eat the lamb that makes her chuck
Ask the children. Because Mary doesn't like duck.

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